shitty hellhole

was supposed to do a full shift, hell lot of markdowns and L not coming.
but ytd drained me completely.
cos C said we wnt close until we exceed target.
geez, thanks ALOT.
was forcing myself out of bed.
felt like i barely lay my head down and i have to get up already.

open w syima, for her its full shift and am tmr.
yes, what a jolly well-planned schedule!
syima was alr tired and i felt im in better shape than she is, told her to nap abit while i do the whatevers.
that energy didnt last.
and some woman had to provoke me. i was sucking in air and doing th whole breathing technique but failed.
once she got to the point abt me having no brains blahblah i just fired back.
then i stopped. its wrong of me to dish back at her right? anw, let her complain. i can do with some of that right now eh(:

was drained even before my delayed break.
nat came and accompanied me for break.
thank god, someone to lift my spirits abit.
we both have like some phobia crossing th road but break's great.
drag my feet back, i really cldnt push myself for a full shift.
i dont even want dinner in fact. i didnt even get a proper meal the whole day.
left feeling guilty now, for all the things i sacrificed for work. my friends, my sch work, my family, myself.
and now im more than shitty for leaving early when they are understaff.
and i miss out on timbre for shin sin's bday.
and all the things i have to drop cos of some last minute 'oh hey, u have to work for __ day'

this seems like an essay-ful now but i feel like i cn do a book.
see, i can be angry and mean and blabber.
this is the side u havent seen right?
well, its unleashed now and i bet u will see more and more cos they days are only getting rougher.

PS: u may not want to read this

C pulled me aside for a 'little' chat.
he went on and on. the gist of it was that he wants more hours.
i was on the verge of tearing.of breaking down.completely.
i already exceeded th 20hour per week thingy alr, what now?
but i didnt want to look weak and get pushed further. i controlled.
now i feel burdened, and shitty/
wreak havoc to my plans, ive to find a way to study, i cnt celebrate christmas, i will die working.
he thinks im a machine.
mas was like "sam, how can u still be so happy?"
im not, never can i say im fuming and vexed and depress all at th same time but now. its an emotional turmoil.
mas told me to eat icecream, i did. and thats when i realise how hungry i was.
i dont know why i feel like crying.
this is stupid.

i love balloons. no, not those rubber ones that burst and make little kids cry.
yucky sucky things happened, really drived me bonkers.
one thing. gave my schedule for dec last mth. i clearly state when i cldnt work.
yet, i was not asked to work on th days i cldnt but rather..'told'.
( thats just a nicer way to put it)
and just before my papers? plus pm shifts? and shifts in a row? i rather u just kill me now and fast. how do i study like that. u dnt even compromise. u dont even care.

so much i want to gush abt. i want to vomit words. maybe not here. maybe i shld yak on and on to my pillow till i lose my voice and feel much better(:

but well, trading was good and i saw this design girl w silver glossy leggings. crap, i wanna get it now. wait. im alr getting it.

the french audio tracks make me sleepy.

dom seah owes me a french boyfriend!!

its so tedious to even load my french tracks into my PSP.
im a technology dummy and i will remain that.
ohwells.
was an hour late for s lecture and he had to embarrass me in front of the whole LT. 'the girl who dont know where lecture is' i need damage control. sheesh. and still ask me qns he knw i wldnt know. why cnt i just be left unnoticed, tsk.

work was frightening cos d was there and wearing specs. i swear he looks like a discipline master. and omar so had to shoo me out of the fitting rm and out into the urm..wilderness? was placed at front zone after that and that suck cos i cn feel tons of eyes on me esp d's and i need to glue a smile on my face for that whole entire torturing period and greet custs and chat with them. (even those mean monsters)

i just realise that i got 3 french tests next week. or do they count listening n written as 1? anw, that suck and im still struggling. im dead meat. ohhhh yes.

french test is today, i missed it.
retest next friday and i wonder if i will be ready?
but thank god for yvonne (hamham's sis) and chewyy:D

i think i get distracted too easily.
progressing like a sloth now. ended up vid w chew, falling aslp, bouncing on th medicine ball, fidget w bicep curl machine, eat subway and play diner dash. all when im to study french. its so hard to plop myself down and really really mug for it. frustratingly weird):
but i want my badge(s), i feel like primary school agn w th teacher sticking golden stars and that familiar sense of achievement but somehow..i think i need a bigger push?

had KFC and its absolutely lovely(:
but its sinful and its showing.
i cant ul imges and i donno why. blogspot is lousy like that.
nights

i hate to pop painkillers and to rely on them but my head is hurting so bad.
ytd and today.
and life isnt helping.
french written n listening test nxt week, im not even ready. and no, im not pretending cos i rly havent gone for classes and lecs. first th false hope i cld replace it, now im doom to fail. dooom. and it will affect my CGPA. screw french, i love it but its turning into this horrible nighmare. sheesh, then there is work.why am i scheduled for so many shifts?! and there is every little tinny winny thing that sums up to another big problem. i feel on th verge. of breaking down.

i tink im not gonna give up french/ i shall figure how to do the written n listening test?
then decide?
i donno, im sucha mess. ):

first day of operations and we exceeded target.
talking abt it being unattainable, can just swallow those words back la.
smth sad happened tho..i dropped my scarf on my way to sch.
and i hadnt even got th chance to wear it. i feel like a sotong, sheesh.

met auyeong, zen and ben. or rather, they came to my sch.
YAYY! finally their dreaded As are over = more time out!
(i hope)
well, there can always be supper sesions(:
did loads of walking. well, but at least ay and i thread our brows. i think piecing is less painful if you compare.
reallyy! urgh.
tau huai aft and gossip gossip, we are such bitches. <3!

NAPE P!

its been decades since i use my sony.
well, switch back again and found many many pic i didnt knew existed!(:
no kidding.

at clar's ex-house, when i secretly stole her hoodie. way cool!

the ripcurl shorts i fell in love w at F&S.
its too pricey for me to afford tho. just admire. i guess.

and 2days ago..

our funniest customer

impromptu outing again. i feel so crappy cos ive got so much piled up and i seriously have no life now. but i need the cash. yikes.

was forced by zen to do this and its dead embarassing.
actually, he wanted me to do what the mannequin is doing. what a friend!

lovable zen, lovable me and of course the lovable chichi

clar's yummy chocs, she's selling them.

bestie.

french fries at void deck, overeating i know.

and finally today. i overslept so no lec, and jeff ho and am tan asked abt me. is it so obvious im not there? honestly, i donno why j notices me but sam always bully me.
ahas. he's kidding but label me 'ah siao'..of all things?!

rushed down w clar for uniforms cos got a hundred bucks to spent one short and its just today or tmr. that suck. so impromptu. its like everythings' a rush nowadays. im sorry i sound like that but i really need a breather. and now that i cnt drop french, its just adds to all the other things i need to worry abt.

clar's halter, i know she sizzles:Dme with a hat, think i will get a black one?

AND HEADLINE NEWS!
ESTHER GOT HER NAPE PIERCING AND ITS HOT HOT HOT!!
the guy didnt use a clamp and somehow its feels more scary to be watching then to be pierced. work, tiring. thats all ive got to grumble abt.
aha! i feel much better already.

oh, watched pretty woman in the library with my haebeehiam cookies.
wasted esther cldnt finish it. its so touching i cried and cried not meaning to but jut cnt help it cos julia roberts is just such a good actress and richard gere despite being an old man now is pretty charming. ohwell. at least they were finally tgt.

found their soundtrack. love the second one th most(:
okay,love both.

1ST AVE was pretty cool. mind you, its not my turn yet. just volunteering cos my operation days will be every friday. whaa! now i do feel like im working 24/7. anyhow, more pictures. ive got loads.

with ms chan, all the volunteers(:we were like really having a blast before those TP rawks people came.
and ms chan was behind the counter laughing at u can.
i didnt know we were clowns too. hmm.

and guess who?
looks like clar rite?! sheesh, my belt is extremely big.

esther is sooo into vespas and those cute helmet.
im not the only one((:

PLAY! groupiee

customer officer of the day hard at work eh.

with ashley(:

esther and clar having their haircut!

fine,i got influenced and cut my bangs too. now i feel so great. ^TRALALALA.
im still deciding, i want a hair cut but too broke to pay. why tony and guy dont call me now?! i want sea salt in my hair and that nice smelling serum thingy. better still, all w/o me paying a single cent:D

wed's pics will post later. PB gave up on me eh. im ):!
well, i tink i managed to exhaust myself once agn. was going to take a short SHORT nap but slpt till the next morning. now i miss lecture. and i miss selina.
POUT HERE.
and daddy insisted he woke me up at 9 and i just open shut and lock the door and went back to sleep. then why dont i remember a thing?
weird.
all i rmb is that my family went to malayia to eat and the place looks so pretty as if its some painted scenery and then we got sucked into th ground, ome formof swirling mud.
then i woke up to realise i was dreaming and im late.
weird.
nowonder i dont rmb how the food taste.

was in no mood to do test, power trip while i was frantically searching for format .

in school, esther dropped the bomb abt what J said abt us. never have i met someone this _____. (seriously, i cant even think of a word) its like you shld nt give us the green light in the first place if that shld nt be done. plus some were even what you suggested. yet now, you turn the tables and it becomes our fault. our problem to deal with. how fickle, how contradicting. there is so much its eating the insides of me and its not just th sense of unjust, its that absolute disappointment. you just wldnt understand.
there is like alot more that i want to let out, rant and rave abt.

but nahh, not worth it. happy things to rejoice:
1. zy offered us these chips frm DIASO and its amazing. (IM GONNA GET IT!)
2. saw tons of people that brighten my day.
3. PLAY sold stuffs, thats real good. (YIPEE!)
4. impromptu outing with sel rly put me in a better mood. (pics below)

just see pics will do. i know you dont read anw:D

mount sophia then P then town then yea.

aeen says we dont look alike and well, everyone says th same stuff. aha.the light up, its a HUNGRY CHRITMAS this year.

im ending off with my <3!
aint she just the pweetiestttt. alrite, toodles.

HAHAHAHA!!
gunawan the beng is ultra hilarious. with H in caps!!
but evil too. thanks for saying my eyes invisible and all but its bigger than yours now.
(see picture below)
hahahas. mines's bigger than urs now and more visible and i still have my ministry of wax vouchers(:
*HINTS HINT*

HEY BENGG, THATS YOU!!

found it at last(:

what to study for comm skills? i dont knw.
and someone hacked my friendster, he rly must have nth better to do.

morning shift w clar, lots of new arrivals(:
and i get to open cartons with clar.
*BIG FAT GRINS*

met dad and mum aft work for dinner at raffles hotel. had i known i was in for a big treat, i wnt have ate so much junk during break. and i so wnt have bought those sour banana fritters, yucks. disgusting. the china man cheated me man!! grr. and he still made me get 3 of it!
planned to join esther n clar for ding smth smth initially, got xiao long pau cravings.
ahas, but IM BROKE):

went food fair after that and stock up on chocs and gummies and milo and yadda yadda.
how can i not be happy?:x
wanted to see if there wa choya, cldnt find. mummy showed me some ume liquer instead but that one is soaked in brandy and i dnt like brandy.
AHAHA!!
that reminds me, i havent drink for a long time already..

(((:

HAPPY!
god really ans prayers.
i was just complaining to everyone on msn that im hungry.
(exaggerate. everyone talking to me i mean)
the responses are all somewhat th same but i cant eat cos i dare not go downstairs.
its freaky.
so i prayed and asked for a miracle and it came true.
REALLY REALLY!
i found food in my bag i never thought existed.
chocs and yuppi gummies..urm, th mashmallow tastes weird tho.
now all i need is a good sleep.

work tomo, lazy bum.

fully clad in ctn on today, its always the case when im working.
feels alittle weird.
played with this super duper pretty-looking helmet today.
a pity it doesnt meet safety regulations. if not, i wld be superbly motivated to bike.
but still i doubt i can and i dare..

i feel so old-school all of a sudden. this is just awesome!(:

with ella, my first friend in tp. my sugary sweet babe!
zain the retard and sam the clown.MR. IT GUY!

with abby and her glowing tan.double triple quadriple sign.huaq's hoodie is way coolest! another eat-a-lot!mandy , the lovable serangooner number 2:D
work was tiring, if not all else was a blast.
my lids are heavy and my eyes aregetting droopy.
till tomo.
xoxo!